Adventures of the Korean who Can't Speak Korean

DISCLAIMER: Sorry for not posting in awhile… I’ve had to deal with classes, moving into a new place, depression from monsoon season, etc…

My little nook :D

I finished all of my midterms today though!!! I also moved into my new hasuk-jib (pictured above)!! Traditional Korean-style living.... but I’ll get to that in another post, because I feel like this is an issue that is more urgent…

They’re caring to some, and vicious towards others. Some stay glamorous, even as they age with wrinkles. Others don’t care what they look like at all. For some, it’s never too late to fill the closet with designer clothes and handbags, and there’s no such thing as too much makeup. Others make do with what they have. They come in all shapes and sizes, BUT still manage to overlap in certain areas. For example, on the streets, they ALL have a “do what I gotta do” mentality, and don’t give a crap about anything or anyone else.

The glamorous type

They even have their own saying dedicated to celebrate their “uniqueness”: “In Korea, there are three types of people- men, women, and ajumas.”

The more "typical" type... this is the most accurate depiction I could find

An "ajuma" is a Korean woman aged maybe 40 or above. Many of you have never heard of this term before, and others of you will be all too familiar with this, and may even have one living in your home, feeding you and taking care of you. I do too :D (Hi, mom). So my point is, I’m not saying that I’m experiencing this phenomenon of ajumas who really do act like a different species for the first time. I just needed to vent somewhere, as for the first time in my life, I see all types of them everyday, everywhere I go.

To those of you who ARE NOT familiar with ajumas, let me begin with an anecdote as an intro. I was waiting for the bus on a rainy day, when I saw the bus coming and begin walking up to the door. There are two doors on a bus: one to board, and one to exit. As I walked up the steps to BOARD the bus, this ajuma that stood about 4’10’’ with flawlessly permed hair stood in my way, trying to get off the bus at the same time. I was willing to maybe move to the side a little bit so she could go through. She shouldn’t have been going out this way, anyway. But no. She wouldn’t budge, even as I signaled to her to pass me. She totally ignored me, and had her eyes looking at the opening, determined to get outside no matter what it took. She stared right through me, and looked very panicky, as if she would faint or die if she didn’t get outside soon. As the bigger person, I decided to be the bigger person, and walked out of the bus, and waited for her to get out. And for the cherry on top, as she came out, she decided to forcefully open her wet umbrella… with me standing right in front of her. I got a splash of water to my face, and failed to receive any sort of acknowledgement. She walked away, strutting in her high heels. Such attitude, such sass… I almost wanted to respect that.

But I couldn’t. Not with my face leaking with contaminated acid-rain. And the awesome part is that this instance was far from being the first. This happened about one week ago, and at that point the score was: Ajumas: 12, Humans: 0. There have been instances of ajumas cutting in front of me while in line at the movie theater, shoving me aside to get into the subway before me, stopping right in front of the subway door when exiting to prevent me from getting off, and even blatantly acting sick/injured to make me feel like a jerk for having a seat on the bus. I especially hate when they decide to walk at their own leisurely pace smack-dab in the middle of a narrow hallway. I’ve missed my subway many times thanks to this…

Ajumas doing their thang... being sketch as usual

And don’t think I haven’t given them a chance yet. I’ve held doors open for them and given up my seat on the subway, and even then, I fail to receive any sort of acknowledgement, let alone a “thanks.” And here’s what really puzzles me about them: they appear helpless and unable, but many times, they don’t even WANT my help. On two separate occasions, I came across an ajuma trying to lug something heavy up the stairs. On the first occasion, I came in slightly aggressive (not because I’m a creep, but because she looked like she was going to drop her box), and sort of swooped in to help her carry it. When she saw me, she gave me a slight shove, shooed me away, and said, “I got this, beyotch” (that’s probably not an accurate translation, but that’s the feeling I got from her tone of voice).

No, they're not ajumas, but it's still relevant and pretty much sums up Korean culture

On the second occasion, an ajuma was carrying a suitcase up the stairs when I came up to her and politely asked if she needed my help. She clearly did… she was struggling to get from the first to the second step. But she quickly shook her head, and got back to her task. I kept insisting, making a hesitant motion to grab her suitcase, but she pulled away each time, saying, “I said I’m fine.”

I’d rather take the S.A.T. again than try to figure out how ajumas operate. With the S.A.T., there’s solid material to study, practice tests to take, and people to go to advice for. With ajumas, their mysterious behavior prevents anything from being clearly established about their nature. Everyone has different experiences with them, and each encounter with an ajuma is like a failed practice test, from which I can learn nothing because the next one I see/meet/bump into will have her own unique identity.

Just because I mentioned "ajumas" and "S.A.T's" in the same paragraph... just replace the face in the middle with an ajuma's and it's still pretty darn accurate

I’ll try to sum it up briefly here, though. The unwillingness to accept help and the caked-on makeup + designer clothing leads me to believe that ajumas may just be aging women who regret that they are not immune to the passing of time. They’re running against the flow, yearning for the glory days.

But what about when they DO act their age? Clearly, they aren’t trying to act young when they end up stealing that seat from you on the bus or subway. That’s what I can’t understand. They’re out to get what’s best for themselves, and don’t care about anyone else, the ultimate demonstration of “survival of the fittest.” When I consider this, and think of all of the Korean women I know including my mother, I think of a lion defending her cubs. From an outside perspective, the lion seems vicious, stopping at nothing and tearing everyone/everything apart to get what she needs to thrive. But when you see the lion with her cubs, she transforms into a hardcore caregiver, stopping at nothing to give them what THEY need. Maybe that ajuma was struggling so hard to get past me on the bus because she needed to go buy medicine for her sick daughter. Maybe an ajuma needs that seat on the subway because her legs are so tired from walking her children to school, then to the tutor, then back home again.

Butts on seats, curls on curls

Now, that’s what I’d LIKE to believe. In some cases, it may very well be true. If there’s one thing I know about Korean mothers, they want the best for their children, and will stop at nothing to make sure they get it. HOWEVER, one thing I cannot guarantee is that this is the sole reason for all of the eccentricities of Korean women. There are too many types of ajumas to keep track of, and this is simply a theory, a suggestion. We may never uncover the mysteries that lie beneath the make-up, the curls, the sassy attitude. For now, all I can do is stop myself from getting too angry at the ajumas, and just remain awestruck in wonder.

And to sign off on a lighter note, more pictures of food! Enjoy!!!